Am thankful for everything tat has happened today..

Thank u and You :)

Let me re-live our memory One Last Time..

Went back to everywhere we used to be together..
Relieved all the memories we had..
Be it when we were purely just frens or somewhat more thn frens..
It was a short 1 month plus..
But it was a awesome ride..
You brought my heart way up to the sky and way down into the sea..

I told myself that i'd bury everything after tonight..
So i thought i just wanna re-live the moments we had tgt..
My first stop was summer.. went round n round serangoon trying to find the pub we last met.. and thn to ur void deck.. i stayed there for awhile, read thru all our msges.. and tears couldnt stop flowing at that point of time..
sent out a final "imissu" and sealed the memories..

I'm actually thankful that i had the bad fall which landed me in ur care..
it's dumb and lame.. but i reali was thankful..
it's reali hard to accept that we're all over even thou there isnt a beginning to begin with..
i dunno how to face my own feelings now..

u wan me to move on..
as much as i dun wan to.. i'd do it.. i'd walk away.. i'd leave u alone..
i dun wanna disturb ur life any further..
i dun wan u to have the "i'm holding back" feeling anymore..
i dun wan u to struggle between not hurting me nor her anymore..
one day when i'm finally totally out of ur life as someone special or as a fren.. thn u can focus on ur goal..
to be the gd guy that u wanna be.. for her..

thank u baby.. for once making me ur baby..
thank u baby.. for always being considerate of my feelings..
thank u baby.. for once allowing me to have ur heart..
now.. i return it back to u.. give it to her.. the one u chose..
i dun deserve it..

one of the last thing i wanna do is to give u my blessings.. but since it's ur goal to settle down..
i'm giving it to u now..

all the best honey.. to u and ur love one.. may u both hold each other thru happiness and unhappiness.. may u both overcome trials together as one.. may she be the one for u and like wise..

ir's heart breaking when u wash ur hands off me.. but well.. who am i? like i said. i dun deserve..
perhaps one day if u'd miss me.. let me know..
i'd dig up all these memories and let them live once again..
one last.. i loved u..

when everything becomes nothingness..

gone..


:(

walao.. how many shocks am i suppose to go thru tonight??

Just spotted something that dun reali make sense..
and a fren suddenly pop me funny question that double shocked me..

Just wanna say 2 things to whoever might be reading..

Firstly.. dun ever ever tink of lying to me..
The last thing i'll ever tolerate is lies..

Secondly.. stop stalkin me n gg ard askin ur frens who am i or wat kind of person am i.. u gt a problem? Come talk to me.. stop behaving like a kid! Ur bf has nth to do w me.. if u're that insecure, buy a chain n lock him up!

Omg.. cant believe i'm dealing w this at this age ._. I thot i can brk free frm all these shits aft i grad frm sec sch..



P/s: no matter hw dear u r to me be it ex, lovers, frens or bro/sis.. i'll still not accept a lie frm u.. i dun deserve to be lied to when i come 101% clean w u in all my stuffs.. dun disappoint me..

been doing alot of shopping today to divert myself..met up with kiera for dinner, collected my heels.. source for fren's bday pressies.. settled qad's xmas pressie.. and best loot of the day, my beloved ring :)

kiera said i'm crazy the moment i decided to buy it.. but well.. i reali should pamper myself a little more aint i? after all the shits that happened to me this lousy 2012 / 2013.. i tink i deserve something to reward myself for being a survival.. lol. afterall been eyeing on one for 3yrs alr.. thou not my ideal one.. but still something :)

in 24hr's time.. he'll be back..
should i anticipate his return?
or should i not?

tonnes of misses is crushing on me :( but i dun wanna face the bad news.. sigh..
how i wish.....



i wish upon my lucky star..

My thoughts..

Kinda love this much :)

Perhaps..

Couldnt slp n went thru our msges.. i smiled and thn i cried :(

thinking that perhaps he's alr someone else's now..
Perhaps i no longer is being missed by him now..
Perhaps i'm no longer his baby girl now..
I'm here hugging my teddy wishing it was him..
But perhaps he's hugging her now..
Why am i rubbing salt into my wound?
perhaps a good way to stop feeling the pain is to numb the wound..
And to numb the wound, is to maximise the pain..

I know he's trying his best to minimise my pains..
I know he is trying his best to maximise my happiness before he left..
And i'm truly thankful..
I know i promised not to get emo while he's away..
But i reali cant control my emotions n tears :(

I need a good hug n a good cry :(

my misses for u is killing me :(



p/s: will u miss me if one day i'm gone?